Mama Needs a Cosmo

This is my 2010 Valentine’s Day Bouquet, picked fresh this morning from our front lawn, compliments of Benny and Jake.

Far be it from me to tell them that they picked me a bunch of yellow weeds.

So I was all happy and pleased with myself because I’d actually purchased the boys’ valentines AND some goodies for gift bags a whole TWO DAYS before they were due. Which is highly unusual for me because I really do love to stay up until 1:00am the night before a Valentine’s Party putting together valentines and baking pink heart-shaped cookies. REALLY.

Anyhoo, after the boys went to bed, I started to assemble the gift bags for Benny’s day care play mates, which consisted of some really cute die-cut cellophane bags, mini frisbees, suction cup ball thingys, some candy hearts, and Spiderman valentines.

Then I realized there was a problem.

The mini frisbees were too big to get into the bag. And NO, I did NOT think to look at the width of the bag at its narrowest point and determine if the frisbees would fit.

I made the LOML pose with the accessories in exchange for some . . . thing.

That's not "Mala-chee," but "Mala-kai." Because apparently Benny has a day care playmate who is one of the children of the corn.

Seriously. Am I SUPPOSED to get out the measuring tape before I buy this stuff? Can I just get some credit for starting a day early?

So, we’ve now clarified that my toddler can read but his mother cannot.

So tonight was “fill out your ‘valentimes’ night,” and I actually got the boys to sit at the table together for 30 minutes to write and color without killing each other.

Contrary to popular belief, I did NOT medicate the boys prior to taking this photo. I did manage to medicate myself, though.

After Benny was done putting his designer touches on his “valentimes,” I wrote in the names of his day care play mates using a color crayon and put them in a stack so I could insert “the super-cool Spiderman pencil” accessory to each one.

A few minutes later, Benny wandered back into the kitchen, picked up one of the valentines, and said, “That’s Mad-dix.”

Whah? This kid’s been SERIOUSLY holding out on me.

So, I picked up the valentine and said, “I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t hear you. What does this say?”

“That’s Mad-dix, Mama.”

Then I was all, “Dude, my kid is so TOTALLY a genius. I shall call him ‘Baby Genius’ and use him to get discounts at local eateries with his genius and cuteness.”

Which then led to our exploiting him on video in the same manner as the other parents on that commercial for “My Baby Can Read.” It’s just that our “baby” is almost three.

“Benny Reads” from Mama Needs a Cosmo on Vimeo.

PS: Thank you, Miss Jan. We know this was all your doing.

I love listening to kids talk about Valentine’s Day. They all have their own unique perspective on what the “holiday” means to them.

Jake, being of my blood and personality, predictably ties the whole thing in with food and drink. Enjoy!

PS: Sorry about the quality of the video — I took it with the BlackBerry. Someday, we’ll be able to afford a good digital video camera.

Happy Valentime’s Day!

Jake and Ben on Valentine’s Day from Fashion Paramedic on Vimeo.