Well, At Least He Didn’t Use the ‘N’ Word . . .

This is a story that I’d usually save for “Frankenstory Friday,” since it’s about my father. However, there is no way I could send you all off for the weekend with the bitter taste of racism and bigotry in your mouths. And, I needed you to get a sense of how truly significant electing a black president was for me, and thought you should get a first-hand perspective of the type of racial hatred that was partially defeated as a result of Tuesday’s election.

I have ALWAYS described my father as “the Native American Version of Archie Bunker.” Which is kind of enigmatic, considering Archie Bunker was who he was because he was WHITE.

My father, to put it bluntly, is a bigot. And, for some reason, he thinks he’s white, which makes him much worse than a white bigot. Safe to say that he is not too pleased with the outcome of Tuesday’s election.

Growing up, it was normal to hear words like “coon,” “n-gg-r,” “pendejo,” and “stupid-ass hillbilly,” on a daily basis. It’s a miracle that none of us were either killed due to my father’s bigotry or became members of the KKK because of it. [Oh! Side note: I've got a story about the use of the word "coon" on the way. It has to do with my understanding of the word as a result of my upbringing vs. the sport of hunting raccoons.]

Anyway, my father says these things for two reasons: #1, because he truly thinks it’s funny, but knows that it’s not funny to those around him (like his family) and wants to get a rise out of us, and #2, because he’s a sociopath. His behavior cannot, nor ever will, change.

Now that I have laid the groundwork for the story, I shall share it, as told by my sister “T,” who had volunteered to give my mom a break and accompany my father to a doctor appointment:

We were waiting for the vascular surgeon to come out when a black family was brought into the clinic and placed in the waiting area next to dad and I. There was only a plastic curtain separating us from them, and we were in a room where everyone could pretty much hear everything that was being said.

Their little girl, about nine years old, curiously poked her head around the curtain and saw me and dad. I smiled at her, and gave her a small wave. Right about that time, dad gave her a warm Frankish welcome by telling her, “WOW! You sure are black!”

Kathy, I was horrified. I yelled at him, saying “Dad! That is NOT funny!,” and gave the most apologetic look to the girls’ parents that I could offer. I was so MAD at him!

And, if that wasn’t bad enough, a couple of days later, [my husband] “S” was having lunch with a friend when the subject of racism came up. The friend said, “Yeah, I was listening to the radio the other day when someone called in and said that an old man in a clinic said something awful to a their little girl . . .,” and “S” said, “Oh my GOD, that was my father-in-law!

This is the type of behavior that keeps my mother in fear for her life. She never knows what he’ll say or when or where he’ll say it. We’ve been in restaurants before where he’s hassled the server or said something out loud to someone walking by, and we had to do some serious damage control. My mom truly believes that he’s going to get them both killed because of his mouth, especially now that he’s got a black president to complain about for the next four years.

I think she should get a taser. Not for protection from those who are offended by his antics, but for my dad.


I love my dad. But that doesn’t mean I always have to like him.

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11 2008

4 Comments Add Yours ↓

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  1. 1

    In my family, it was mom. She wasn’t terrible, and she didn’t think she was being funny… she simply didn’t think period.

    But dad…. I was always inspired by my dad. His stories of seeing prejudice and walking the walk against will always be with me.

    As for YOUR dad… we all have people that we love but sometimes just can’t bring ourselves to like very much. Heck, I MARRIED mine! LOL

    Laras last blog post..Today, I Shivered

  2. Lisa Lisa #

    My mother must have took after your father. She has a comment for everyone, white, black, Mexican, Asian, gay & straight. I honestly don’t know what “category” she thinks she fits in. Must be one of her own ;o)

  3. Nic #

    OMG, Fashion!

    Unfortunately, I so feel your pain.

    My dad was French Canadian whose pronunciation of English could be truly atrocious.

    So there we were sitting in a Chinese food restaurant and dad was trying to flag down our waiter. He snapped his fingers and waved at the the wrong person like an idiot. To which he as acknowledged dad and politely advised him that he was responsible for another section. (This in addition to us trying to tell dad that our waiter was somebody else.)

    Not only did my dad speak in broken English, he was half deaf and therefore *very* loud. Which was worse when he drank. And if he was drinking he was loud *and* obnoxious. Being that the family was out to dinner, he had had a few.

    Upon hearing that he tried to get the wrong waiter’s attention he very loudly said in his baritone voice, “Welllll, eeets not my faul! Dey all look d’uh same!” And then proceeded to laugh heartedly at his own joke.

    I (we!) were so embarrassed…Thankfully we had already eaten and we weren’t subjected to any nasty “embellishments” compliment of the server or chef.

    Dad also classified visible minorities, as “ebony visible minorities”, “lemon flavored visible minorities” and “red visible minorities”.

    He was verbally reprimanded at work for his “overt” bigotry and came thisclose to being suspended with LWOP. He only shut the f*** up because money actually meant something to him.

    I’d like to say that we weren’t raise that way. Our mom was cut from a different cloth.

  4. 4

    I’ve noticed that since Obama was elected, some sick outpouring of “humorous” text messages about him have begun accosting my phone. ALL of them ignorant and racist.

    I’ve shot back texts to everyone who’s sent them, telling them that that shit isn’t funny to me and to never send me shit like that again. None of them replied to me, so hopefully I managed to make them feel like the assholes they are for perpetuating stupidity.

    Oh yes, I will attack my own friends if they deserve it.

    Corrinas last blog post..Let’s Talk About Sex

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