Mama Needs a Cosmo

Seriously. It’s not like many companies have a “Decorate Your CUBICLE Like Your High School Locker” Day, right? Go ahead. Be jealous. Or grab one of these pics and throw it up onto your computer background for a day. Have some fun with it — it’s friggin TUESDAY. Live a little — nothing ever happens on Tuesday!

Anyway, here’s a peek of what my locker would have had taped to it’s insides, circa 1989-90 (my senior year of high school).

#1) DEF LEPPARD

I memorized EVERY BLOODY WORD from Hysteria. Wore a Union Jack tank top with my Guess shorts, and teased my hair relentlessly. To this date, I still re-create Joe Elliott’s moves from the video “Pour Some Sugar On Me” whenever I hear the song. (DON’T JUDGE! You know a rock band with a one-armed drummer is the coolest shit EVER.)

#2) SKID ROW

Okay, okay. I loved cheesy hairbands. But don’t hate on Sebastian Bach. Back in the day, his range was tested only by Geoff Tate (who obviously won — I’m not a complete idiot). Look at that hair . . . those pouty lips . . . he even had the “smokey eye” going on long before it was a trend!

#3) BON JOVI

No self-proclaimed “Rocker Chic” could have ever made it through high school without a little Jon Bon in her locker. (No . . . really. Have you ever stood next to Jon Bon Jovi? He’s shorter than Tom Cruise.) C’mon, who can resist the song “Livin’ on a Prayer”? Tommy and Gina! They’re gonna make it, right?

#4) TOM CRUISE

I threw that one in there on parent day, to appease the folks and the nuns. I kept it up long afterward, because, c’mon, can I get a glass with that six-pack?

#5) JOHN CUSACK AS LLOYD DOBLER

I may have been a die-hard Rocker Chic, but I also knew a classic when I saw one. During high school, I worked for a mom & pop video store. After “Say Anything” had it’s run in the “New Releases” section and was replaced with “Goodfellas,” I snagged the poster. I think it’s still somewhere in my mom & dad’s garage.

Okay, there you have it. My top five locker pin-ups.

I dare you to respond with what you had in YOURS!