Because I Just HAD to Tell You! (And YES, I Know it’s SATURDAY)

The LOML and I decided to go to an “R” rated movie today. With EACH OTHER. (Because we usually have to have grown-up movie time alone since we haven’t found anyone stupid enough to watch the kids, and WE JUST KNOW that the one time we leave them home alone to go see a movie together, THE HOUSE WILL BURN DOWN. And we can’t be telling the fire department that we left our 7-year-old in charge of our 3-year-old because then they’d be all, “Uh, can you please have a seat in the back of that squad car?”)

ANYway, the powers that be sent us this place called “KidsPark,” where they’ll watch your kids NO QUESTIONS ASKED as long as you leave them your credit card number. You pay through the nose for your freedom, but the fees pale in comparison to the absence of kids who don’t want to sit still during a 90 minute cartoon and, oh yeah, THE ABSENCE OF A CARTOON ALTOGETHER.

So we get to the theater and I buy the tickets to what I think is a movie that starts at 5:30pm, but then we realized that I read the wrong time on Fandango and the movie we were supposed to see actually didn’t start until 7:10. And the LOML was all, “We can’t afford to have the kids at that place any later than 8:30!!” so we changed our tickets out and decided to go see “Inception” instead.

And all I can say about it is longest BEST. MOVIE. EVER. And you hardly realize that the movie is as long as it is because you’re drowning in its awesomeness.

But your BLADDER does.

So there I was, tapping my toes trying to figure out how I could pee into an empty water bottle in the dark run to the bathroom and not miss anything when I remembered (and strangely enough, at the same time, got verbal diarrhea and exclaimed in a theater full of people), “I CAN USE RUNPEE!!”

And the LOML said, “Can you do that some place ELSE?” And I was just so excited to have even REMEMBERED to THINK of runpee that I said, “Shut up or else I won’t tell you when the best time to pee is when it’s YOUR BLADDER that’s burning hole in the side of your stomach.”

So I got to do my thing and had TWO EXTRA MINUTES of pee time left! I felt like a hall-of-fame-urniator. (And YES I DID remember to wash my hands. Freaks.)

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08 2010

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  1. Cathy Bakarich #

    I would love to babysit for you for free so you guys can have some alone time. A Friday night is best when i’m not working overtime because my boyfriend doesn’t get off work until 1:00 am. Let me know, I would love to get to know your kids a little better. I’m sure it would be very entertaining for me.

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