Is There Anyone Out There With the Power to Silence a L.O.U.D.?

You may want to label me a racist after this post. You might want to call me names or share this with your friends and call me a bitch for even bringing it up. I don’t care what you do with this information, as long as your talking about it. Because what I’m writing about today really needs to stop.

I’ve been sitting on this post for A VERY LONG TIME. I wrote the first draft in anger. And then every so often, I would go back and massage the text a little. I’ve actually toned it down quite a bit.

The LOML did not want me to publish this post, but I felt that I had to put it out there. Even if it meant pissing some people off. So, here it goes . . .

I’m sure we’ve all observed someone being so obnoxious about getting their way that the person on the receiving end of the tirade eventually gives in to the jerk just to get them out of their face. I’ve seen it a number of times myself, which is why I created the “L.O.U.D.S.” section of my blog.

When I created the “L.O.U.D.S.” section of my blog, I was trying to be politically correct. I threw in some pictures of white trash (because people of all ethnicities can be assholes, white people included) so I wouldn’t be judged. But most (if not all) of you knew which ethnic group in particular I was referring to. Your emails and comments confirmed it, and I never denied it.

Black women were pissing me off.

Yes, you read that right.

It wasn’t an Asian woman who held up the drive-thru line at McDonald’s here or here or here. It wasn’t a Mexican woman who was annoyingly screaming into her cell phone and bumping her cart into my ankles while behind me in line at the grocery store. And it sure as hell wasn’t an East Indian woman who confronted me about the using the term “two blacks and a color” while on the phone at Jamba Juice.

It was Sha-Ne-Ne.

Remember Sha-Ne-Ne? She was the irritatingly loud black neighbor on Martin Lawrence’s show “Martin.”

[Letters from the NAACP and death threats to begin in three . . . two . . . one . . .]

And what’s sent me off into this rant is the fact that a two months ago, Sha-Ne-Ne and a friend showed up at Starbuck’s and were so obnoxious, EVEN THE POLICE OFFICERS WHO WERE IN THE STORE DIDN’T DO A THING ABOUT IT.

So here I am, committing blog (and perhaps, career) suicide, writing about what other people are thinking when it comes to race. But I *KNOW* I can’t be the only one who is pissed off by the fact that this kind of behavior has become acceptable. When is enough “enough”? When did it become okay to exploit the fact that people will give you what you want if you scream and threaten them enough and taking a stand isn’t worth it? And I’m not talking about sending something back at a restaurant because it was chicken when you asked for beef, or threatening to cancel service because your cell phone or cable bill has increased beyond control.

I’m talking about adult bullies. And I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to clarify that these bullies in particular are black women. LOUD black women. (Hereinafter referred to as “L.O.U.D.S”)

Here’s what happened.

The LOML and I were sharing a rare evening alone together when we decided to stop for coffee. And, since we were alone, we decided to go INSIDE instead of using the drive thru. We NEVER go inside. Because we usually have the boys with us when we stop for coffee, and going inside would mean that Benny would have the place torn down in a matter of seconds. But I digress.

Anyway, there we were, in a really long line, observing the obviously understaffed crew trying to handle an 11-car long drive-thru line plus the rest of us in the store with only two functioning cappuccino machines. Directly in line ahead of us were two L.O.U.D.S, who were being quite vocal about how long it was taking and making the rest of the folks in line uncomfortable. I tried to ease the tension a little bit by remarking that it must suck to have to try and satisfy so many people when the equipment wasn’t working correctly. And brought up that it didn’t look like the store had a full crew. But the L.O.U.D.S. weren’t having any of it.

About 5 minutes later, one of the staff members strolled through the line with samples of coffee cake and muffins. A second or two after that, the L.O.U.D.S ordered their coffees.

After they received their orders, L.O.U.D #1 took a sip of her beverage and yelled, “Oh. UH-UH. This ain’t what I ordered. This taste like regular milk. Is this regular milk? I can’t be drinking no regular milk!” She then pushed the cup toward to the employee, who apologized for the mistake and stated that she would quickly re-make the beverage. “Hell YEAH you’ll re-make it.”

It was about that time when I realized the LOML had put his hand on my shoulder, readying it to cover my mouth in an instant. When I started to say something, he turned his head to my face and whispered, “NO.” Pretty much the equivalent to smacking a dog on its nose to prevent it from being bad.

L.O.U.D #2 rhad no complaints about her drink. Yet.

A few moments later, two Sacramento Police officers entered the store and stood in the back of the line. But the line was so long that it curved around to the front counter, which put them in the perfect position for viewing the show.

When L.O.U.D #1′s drink was done, she tested the contents of the cup and nodded her head. “Shoulda done that the FIRST time.”

I tried once more to say something, but the LOML smacked me on the nose again.

I wanted to scream, “Could you be ANY MORE of a BITCH? REALLY? Because I’ve seen some bitches before. Hell, even I’M a bitch. But REALLY? Over COFFEE?”

Then L.O.U.D #1 turned to leave and I thought the story would end there. It should have ended there. I wanted it to end there. Because all she really had to say was, “This doesn’t taste right. Can you re-make it?” But she didn’t, and I had enough for a blog post after observing her and her friend being rude in every way while waiting for the 2nd drink.

But “Hell NO,” the story continues because L.O.U.D #2 decided to up the drama by saying:

“I think you need to give me another drink because I drank all of this one waiting for hers to get fixed.”

No. JOKE. Let me repeat that:

“I think you need to give me another drink because I drank all of this one waiting for hers to get fixed.”

‘You need to give me . . .’

Entitlement. That’s what it was all about.

‘You need to give me . . .’

And with those words, the LOML let me loose. I looked around, and even the police seemed to be thinking that someone had to say something. WHY DIDN’T THEY SAY ANYTHING? So I got involved. For a one second, anyway.

ME: “WHAT?!”

The people who were still in line laughed. L.O.U.D #2 turned around for a second and then returned her attention to the employee. L.O.U.D #1 furrowed her eyebrows at me but I didn’t care. I looked away and locked eyes with the employee, as if to say “Don’t do it. DON’T. DO. IT.” But, he shook his head at me and said to L.O.U.D #2:

“You want me to what?

“I SA-ID [two syllables] I THINK you need to make me another one ‘cause I drank all of THIS ONE waiting for you to fix HERS.”

She was not going to back down. She thought that she was entitled to another drink, and she was going to make LOTS of noise until she got her way. Because even the police weren’t saying anything about it, so why would the employees argue?

And maybe thinking that the police should get involved was a little naïve of me. I at least thought they’d go up, make their presence known, and ask if everything was okay. I’ve seen cops do that before and the asshole in question usually backed off.

A voice from the drive-thru station yelled, “Just give her the drink.”

Defeated, the employee shook his head, punched a few keys, and said, “It’ll be a few minutes.”

But that wasn’t enough of a victory. She HAD to have the last word, and got it by saying, “That’s what I thought.”

She joined L.O.U.D #1 in the corner, and for another few minutes, everyone got to have a good stare before they left. They weren’t even completely out of the store when I said to the employee, “Are you kidding me with that?” And he replied with, “We just wanted them out of here.”

Why is this acceptable?

And trust me, I am NOT the only one who feels this way. Do you want to know how I know this is a fact? Because one of my favorite bloggers found that when she typed the words “why are” into a Google search box, the search box automatically tried to populate the rest of the sentence with “Why are black people so loud?” No. Joke. Go read it for yourself!

This made me laugh, because it tied in to the “L.O.U.D.S.” section of the blog so nicely. I chose that word as the acronym for a reason. And Google nailed it.

I just don’t get WHY.

Why, Sha-Ne-Ne? Why do you have to be so obnoxious? I’m not asking you to act like Claire Huxtable. But shit, girl, give it a rest and civilize yourself.

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02 2010

5 Comments Add Yours ↓

The upper is the most recent comment

  1. 1

    Girl, I have some things to say about this post so you might want to grab your Cosmo (and the shaker) and get comfortable.

    FIRST of all: Your L.O.U.D. stories, this post included, are NOT “racist” because of the fact that they are not merely your opinions; they are ACTUAL, personal experiences that you have had. The rude, loud and obnoxious women you’ve had encounters with happened to be black. That simply IS what it IS. It doesn’t mean that white, Mexican or Asian women can’t be loud, rude bitches and you have never stated that ALL black women are L.O.U.D.s nor have you disparaged an entire race of people; only the people who you have witnessed behaving ridiculously in public. Blogs are, predominately, places where people recount their personal experiences. Those have been some of yours. Anyone who feels the need to label you “racist”, in spite of the facts that I’ve stated above, is probably a L.O.U.D. themselves and can suck a giant bag of fucking dicks.

    SECONDLY: Having been in the restaurant/bar business for 20 years, I can tell you- WITH 100% HONESTY- that I’ve encountered L.O.U.D.S. of every race and 90% of them were, in fact, African-American. Ask ANYONE who’s been a server or bartender for longer than a year and they will say the EXACT SAME THING. I absolutely guarantee it. My African-American co-workers used to HATE waiting on people of their own race. My friend Cleo used to actually get PISSED OFF when he had to wait on a table of African-Americans. I will give you his number and you can call him and ask him yourself! They are predominately rude, loud, and demanding. I have more stories in my arsenal than I can count.

    Some stereotypes are absolutely ridiculous and some exist for a REASON. And that is unfortunate because I have also waited on some pretty fucking amazing African-Americans who were shocked by my attentiveness and good service. I’ve been told many times that they weren’t usually given good service in restaurants. You know why? Because of the people before them who, with their abhorrent behavior, have led many, MANY servers to believe that they are ALL that way, and waiting on them is not only a giant pain in the ass, but a waste of time.

    I think being a loud, obnoxious, entitled, BITCH is not only disgusting behavior, for ANYONE, it’s also extremely selfish and detrimental to whatever race you belong to because it conditions service people to dislike you and what you are. It is also pathetic that those same service people continue to perpetuate the problem by caving into people who act like big, fucking, uncivilized children. Yes, those Baristas got those women out of their store, but they also completely reinforced the behavior of those women and THAT was the greater evil.

    Now, all race aside, here is a memo to people who may be unaware: People who behave like assholes in order to get their way learned that that was effective. Behaving that way isn’t inherent; it is LEARNED. We teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate from them. That is a FACT. And it remains a fact in personal, casual, and work relationships as WELL as in customer relations. When the world stops cowering to people like that, perhaps they will LEARN that throwing tantrums and being rude isn’t going to get rewarded and they will eventually stop. As it seems now, however, tantrums pay off. And NOT race aside- the fear of being labeled racist is exactly why businesses back down and cave in. I’ve seen MANY a manager have “You’re racist!” screamed at them, by minorities, when the customers have been denied something they were absolutely NOT entitled to. I’ve even seen minority servers get labeled that way by white people, for the same exact reason.

    Good for you for having the balls to write this post. I think it’s ridiculous that anyone should feel they have to tip-toe around honesty because it isn’t “politically correct”. Life is life and it is what it is. If you don’t want to be labeled something ugly, then don’t behave ugly. You’re not only making your SELF look like shit.

    If anyone thinks that I’M racist for writing this, then they live in a bubble. Some things just ARE what they ARE and screaming foul and pulling a race card is a weak defense for shit that really goes on in this world. Indeed, there are hateful, evil, racist people all over the planet. But not everyone who has had negative experiences with a minority, and TALKS ABOUT IT, fits into that category. How sad that so many people don’t realize that. You shouldn’t have to suffer in silence or keep your experiences and thoughts to yourself just because they involved black women. If you were talking about white women, would you even be worried about it? Would it even be considered a hot-button issue? I think not and I rest my case.
    .-= Corrina´s last blog ..I’m SO Excited! =-.

  2. 2

    It’s not racist to observe that certain behaviours are associated with certain ethnic or cultural groups. Stereotypes are usually based on fact, otherwise they would not exist. So people who call you “racist” for observing and commenting on facts (an eyewitness account of two black women acting entitled) are merely trying to suppress the truth, to no avail.

    After all, was it a white woman who called 911 not once, but three times to complain that she did not get the McDonalds Chicken McNuggets she paid for? No. Was it an Asian woman? No. Was it an Inuit woman? No. It was a black woman.,2933,504125,00.html It is not racist to observe that the miscreant in that case is black. The picture explains it very clearly.

    Was it a white woman who slapped a police officer and then claimed that because Obama won the presidential election, the officer could not arrest her? No. It was a black woman.

    The culture of entitlement is corrosive. It’s too bad your LOML suppressed your response to their ridiculous demands. Everyone should have laughed at them, and humiliated them in public. And the employees should have refused the second woman’s request outright. The only way to fight entitlement is by mocking laughter and a refusal to cooperate.
    .-= Marvin´s last blog ..Gardening by the front yard =-.

  3. Nic #

    The race card. OMG. Don’t get me started on *that!* We here in Canada have “patented” the loud minority tail wagging the dog thing. We work 6.5 months FOR FREE to pay taxes for that kind of b.s.

    I won’t bother recapping the story of my trip to NYC with my French Cdn friend who “peaked” on the barrista at Macy’s because she didn’t get her tall latte in venti cup. Total French Cdn “Im in the anger phase of my therapy” b.s. (read apparent pension to treat every living human being like a piece of s**t) until the cab driver she screamed at crossed traffic to call her a f’n b**ch and c**t for a half a block (while I smiled two paces behind).

    That set her straight, (when it came to cabbies).

    But I digress….

    Off to get me some Drambuie for my coffee as I try to lower my blood pressure.

    Excellent, truthful post. Great comments. *whew!*

  4. Kathleen #

    Oh, I love *LOVE* you guys!

    Marvin: You just HAD to get an Obama dig in there, didn’t you? :) Seriously, though. You’re absolutely right. It was wrong of the LOML to suppress my participation. My minor role would have changed dramatically had he let me say something sooner. What came to mind was, “Who the hell asked you to slam that drink like it was a shot of Hennessy?” In his defense, though, he was just trying to preserve what was left of an awesome evening and didn’t want to have to (a) stop a fight or (b) have us get thrown out of Starbuck’s along with the L.O.U.D.S. because we were in his “favorite” store.

    Corrina: I love that you have my back! :) I totally knew that with your background you’d have some tales to tell. You could probably write a book. It’s horrible that we’ve become a “one bad apple” society, and it doesn’t help that shows like “Jersey Shore” just make the problem even worse.

    Nic: Thank you for the New Years’ Wishes and the comment!! And sorry to have raised your blood pressure — I’ll have to send you some Drambuie for your trouble!!

  5. 5

    I’m picturing you in line this whole time, and I even have the biggest hunch at which Star, er, coffee place you were at…. ( :
    This was classic- and true to life. I’ve also experienced, as you put, LOUDS, of every shape, size and color… a few have definately thought they were entitled to something. I shudder to think what type of parents might have allowed their children to get away with that enough to perfect it in their adult life? Crazy. Your blog is always great for some late night entertainment!! Cheers… clink, clink.
    .-= Carol´s last blog ..A Little Hiatus =-.

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